looking into daycares for my 15 month old…

The time has come. I think I made the first step last week when I went to San Francisco and spent my first two nights away from him. I wrote all about that trip here.

I have been putting this off for a while now, but I finally made the step of applying for my substitute teaching certificate here in AZ and it just came in the mail!

I am excited to be touring our first daycare tomorrow. It is near our house and I have heard nothing but good things about it. The thing that deters me from wanting to go there is the price. I know it is one of the more expensive options. Before COVID, we had an at home daycare set up at an extremely affordable price in the neighborhood of the school I taught at. As mentioned in previous posts, the woman who ran this at home daycare was forced to shut down due to everything happening. I had to break my contract teaching for the next school year, and I have been at home with my son ever since.

I am grateful things worked out the way they did, although not returning to my classroom has been very challenging for me. I am happy I have been able to witness all of my baby’s firsts, and cherish the alone time with him I wouldn’t have been able to during his first year of life if I went back to my classroom as quickly as I had planned.

However, I am a big advocate for moms doing what they need to for their sanity and mental health. I have opened up about my recent diagnosis of depression, anxiety and PTSD (on the blog here). I have been able to work through those struggles through therapy and medication and I am in a much better place than I was even six months ago.

With that being said, I am advocating for moms to work if they want to work! Stay home if you want and are able to stay home! For me, I think right now it’s a mix of both worlds. I love being able to have the freedom to stay home, go on play dates, and have one on one time with my son. At the same time, I need structure and a sense of purpose beyond my home - to work in the field I am passionate in - education. I know I will go back to the classroom full time some day, and if I change my mind, thats okay too. I am learning that its okay to change your mind! Humans are built to change, grow, evolve.

Back to why I am here - daycare shopping! Now, substitute teachers do not make that much, so I am looking for something that I will be able to make up the money for with my subbing job. I know, that seems like it is meaningless for me to get a job this way, but I promise its not. I think Baylor being able to be around other kids, build his social skills and be introduced to a more structured routine will be so beneficial to myself and him. I have also spoken about mental health. If I am able to get out a few days per week, socialized with other kids and adults, and even be able to connect and catch up with fellow co teachers and friends, I feel I will find some more happiness and self worth during the week.

We are looking for a daycare that has nurturing teachers, a well-cleaned facility, and I would love somewhere that implements some Montessori values. These are things on our “wish-list” per se. I would love for the day care to have a camera I can check on, but it is not required. I am having a hard time letting go of control of who watches B and being able to trust other adults with him. I know that we will find somewhere I will connect with the teachers and build a great relationship with, but it is hard in the beginning thinking of all the possibilities and bad situations or experiences I’ve have heard from others. I am trying to have the mindset of “what if it goes well? what if it’s amazing?” and not the “what if everything is horrible?” mindset.

Being in the house with just Baylor while Matt works all day every day can feel suffocating at times. I know that this is all some moms want, and I do not take it for granted. I am so happy I do not HAVE to work and my husband has worked so hard to make it that way. I just know I need to do what fills my soul .Being a mom is a huge part of that, but my whole life up until that was my passion for learning and educating others. I am so excited to pursue that in a new way with subbing.

If you have any recommendations for daycares in Gilbert, Az, let me know on my latest Instagram! Have a great Tuesday!